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Writers--Club by spaztic-one

Poems by NykiiLynn

Words by Alt-er-Net


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Submitted on
February 6, 2011
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Girl of sixteen years, and a problem she has got
Boys at school were rating girls, and one said she wasn't hot
At home inside the bathroom, she looked at her face in the mirror
and grabbed the lotions and the creams just to make her pale skin clearer
The magazines showed all the models that were skinny and much thinner
So she went up to the toilet and threw up all her dinner
Stepping on the scale, she always checks up her weight
Looking in the mirror and always seeing what she hates
Her figure is frail and thin, but her head is full of lies
that she was still just way too fat, no matter how hard that she tries
She always used excuses that she "ate before she came"
or that "I'm not too hungry", "I don't eat that" is what she claims
Her friends would always worry because she never ate
But she never showed her weakness, always saying that she's great
But inside, she was dying, her secret kept away
Her dark eyes filled with sorrow as she hides it every day
She always wastes her money on the cosmetics and the make up
But one day her younger brother told her she needs to wake up
he said "Big sis, you are beautiful, just the way you are
I always see you throwing up and eating the health bars
I don't like to see you like this because it hurts so bad to see
that you are never happy, and your hurt is hurting me
Stop painting your pretty face with the black and purple stuff
and please stop running for miles after school till you are well enough
The models and the magazines are fake and all the same
Stop trying to be someone else, the media's to blame.
I want my older sister back, I really truly do,
Why do you want to be someone else when there's only one of you?"
this is why i dont write poetry
for my friend who has the same problem :)
Add a Comment:
 
:iconannoyance12:
Annoyance12 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2014  Student General Artist
It was very pretty and I thought this related to many different people. :) (Smile) 
Reply
:iconcorporalcornbread:
CorporalCornbread Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so bitter-sweet... very well written! <3
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2012
Thank you so much for your kind words!
Reply
:iconcorporalcornbread:
CorporalCornbread Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, you're so welcome! :hug:
Reply
:iconkairi224:
kairi224 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2011  Student General Artist
D: I have to show my friend, shes also going through this, she was doing really well and all of a sudden went right back D:
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2011
Awww >.< I hope she gets through it D:
Reply
:iconkairi224:
kairi224 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2011  Student General Artist
Yeah, its just horrible, coz like she was doing so well, then some acting course came up and that got her eating times out of whack so shes not eating again D:. :hug: I hope your friend gets through it too :huggle:
Reply
:icondahy-mos:
dahy-mos Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2011
Ah, this is beautiful and well written. Almost made me cry.
Great job by the way. : ) :+fav:
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2011
Thank you very much :)
Reply
:iconnykiilynn:
NykiiLynn Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
aww.. that is the sweetest brother ive ever heard of =D
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2011
:D
Reply
:icontsuki-tai:
Tsuki-Tai Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2011  Student Writer
this is so true beautiful
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2011
Thank youu
Reply
:icontsuki-tai:
Tsuki-Tai Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2011  Student Writer
np
Reply
:iconsheisrawring:
SheIsRawring Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
My friend has this problem, my very best friend in the whole world, and sit scares me so much, I'm afraid I'll lose her, but she won't even let me talk to her anymore because she knows I'll try and talk to her about it.
I love the little brothers words, they are everything I wish she'd let me say.
Reply
:icontwinkletinker:
twinkletinker Featured By Owner May 26, 2011   General Artist
Gorgeous piece... the words flow beautifully... and it looks so heart felt. Congrats! It's a wonderful awareness poem! :D
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner May 26, 2011
Thank you very much :) It means a lot!
Reply
:icontwinkletinker:
twinkletinker Featured By Owner May 26, 2011   General Artist
My pleasure really... you deserve every word! :D
Reply
:iconemmyrb:
emmyrb Featured By Owner May 24, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I really like the idea of it... heart-wrenching. It all flows beautifully, and has a slightly contemporary twist. I can't really relate to the girl, but I'm sure many can. Personally looks don't mean too much to me. However, I can connect with her caring too much about what people think of her, and her 'problem'. The only thing I thought, because I'm a bit of a pessimist lately, is the bit about her friends worrying... from personal experience, I think that's a lie. Humans are blind. They can't see what is in front of them. But that's just in my own life. Sorry, I'm ranting. Really, really good writing! :)
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner May 24, 2011
Thank youu, haha :) I'm not a writer so I wasn't sure how people would react to this, but apparently they like it :O
Reply
:iconsimple-minds:
simple-minds Featured By Owner May 24, 2011  Hobbyist
I hope she listened to her younger brother.

It reminds me of Karen Carpenter. She got the disorder cos some guy called her fat. She died in her early 30s.

Words can kill you.

You did an excellent job with the rhythm, this could be a song, maybe sung by Taylor Swift. (I think her name is Taylor Swift.)
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner May 24, 2011
She did, and that's what gave her the little push in the direction she is going now :) She's recovering, eating an omelette every day for breakfast (she hasn't done that in forever!)
Reply
:iconhitler-fruit:
hitler-fruit Featured By Owner May 21, 2011
Wow! This is beautiful and so sad. Rings true.
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner May 21, 2011
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconlol-jokesbiggestfan:
lol-jokesbiggestfan Featured By Owner May 20, 2011
you have raised awareness of reality
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner May 21, 2011
:iconiloveyouplz: it makes me happy to hear that
Reply
:iconlol-jokesbiggestfan:
lol-jokesbiggestfan Featured By Owner May 21, 2011
your icon makes me happy XD
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner May 22, 2011
;D
Reply
:iconpowerkids211:
powerkids211 Featured By Owner May 18, 2011  Student Artist
This poem is lovely...so sad at the same time...but really well explained!
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner May 18, 2011
Thank you very much!
Reply
:iconpowerkids211:
powerkids211 Featured By Owner May 18, 2011  Student Artist
You're very welcome :)
Reply
:iconkikitosan:
KikitoSan Featured By Owner May 18, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I love it! I adore the rhyme and the concept, you're really talanted! I hope your friend will realise that she(or he) is unique and that he/she is one of a kind <3
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner May 18, 2011
Thank you! I'm not much a poet >//<
Reply
:icontaliaovadia:
taliaovadia Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2011  Student Photographer
So sad :( I hope everything will work out for your friend. You are a very talented writer ;)
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2011
Thank you very much! :)
Reply
:iconhockeymask13:
hockeymask13 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2011
This is beautiful, yet sad work. I sincerely hope your friend gets better.
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2011
Thank you very much :) I hope she gets better all the way!
Reply
:iconkaitforest:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2011   Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2011
:) <3
Reply
:iconyukiloveslolita:
yukiloveslolita Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
why u dont rite peotry? but this is beautiful!
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2011
im not good at it >3< but thank youu :)
Reply
:iconyukiloveslolita:
yukiloveslolita Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
really? im pretty sure that was an amazing poem.
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2011
thanks :) i can only write when I am seriously inspired >o<
Reply
:iconyukiloveslolita:
yukiloveslolita Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
i no wat u mean. i hav so much trouble song writing somedays cuz there is NO emotion.
Reply
:iconbeastchicky:
beastchicky Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011
That is amazing, and beautiful, and sad, all at the same time.

And Your icon is cute too, just saying
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011
thank you very much :)
Reply
:iconbeastchicky:
beastchicky Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011
^&^
Reply
:iconraingirl88:
RainGirl88 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
that is some deep stuff :nod: I LOVE IT!! :love:
Reply
:iconpuccanoodles2009:
PuccaNoodles2009 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2011
thanks :)
Reply
:iconloselips-sinkships:
loselips-sinkships Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
The ending was beautiful. (: This gave me chills. Very well written for such a sad concept. Great job!
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